I was finally on track!

I’d overcome addiction, abuse, divorce, depression and spiritual depravity.  I finally stopped running from God and experienced His love. 

Happily remarried, my life was better than ever.  Even my Ex and I were peacefully co-parenting our 12-year-old daughter, Annika, for the past decade.

Then the unexpected happened…

…my Ex blindsided us with a family court battle that ultimately lasted 3-years.  Annika was caught in the middle, and I felt devastated. 

Just after that, Annika started to plummet. The chaos in our home was unbearable.  Drugs, boys and school expulsion consumed my energy. I couldn’t remember the last time I truly felt at peace. I felt like I was losing her.

It was 6 years that we experienced financial, emotional and relational stress that left our marriage — our family — on the brink of disaster.

It’s been 5 years since that painful season, and we still bear the scars.  But the growth that came as a result, has made all the difference. 

I’ve come to believe that everyone can navigate their storms of life staying connected to God and to those they love…and it’s primarily about our mindset and our choices! 

Misguided Thoughts 

When facing disappointments or setbacks, do you ever notice how your thoughts get you
off-track and can even pull you away from God?

Misguided thoughts often create spiritual blind spots that can keep us stuck behind a self-imposed wall of confusion, despair and doubt.

And they rob us of God’s truth and the life we’re really after.

Throughout my journey, I’ve learned some vital lessons about staying connected to God’s voice of truth…here’s 3 mindset shifts that can bring transformation:

1. Striving to ‘Fix It’ Creates Blind Spots

When you’re struggling with intense emotions, it’s easy to become hyper-focused on things beyond your control.  You might think:  

“I have to focus my time and energy on fixing this problem…only I can fix it”.

And if you get stuck there, you may not realize that striving to fix a problem can lead you to an unhealthy imbalance.   Your most important relationships, goals, beliefs and even your health can be neglected and begin to deplete.

That imbalance often creates blind spots — spiritual blind spots — that will hold you hostage, keep you disconnected from God and holding onto false beliefs. 

Things beyond our control are just that — out of our control.   Own that reality and let go. Shift your mindset from striving to ‘fix it,’ and focus on the One who IS in control.

Constant striving is exhausting and unproductive.

You can choose something different…

2. Choosing to Surrender

Proverbs 3:5-6 says,”Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.  Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.”  (NLT)

I believe this passage can be summarized with one word — surrender.

Surrendering is a choice, and it’s hard!  Yet He calls us to make that choice every day and when we do, we’re obediently aligning ourselves to His plan for us.

What do you need to surrender today?  A dream, a relationship, a career or maybe a wayward child?  Whatever it is, God will honor your choice to surrender it to Him.

3. Living in Hope

Surrendering won’t instantly change your circumstances.  That dream may never come true, the relationship may never heal, the career might fail and that child may never recover.

Even so, God calls us to live in hope.

Micah 7:7 says, “As for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior, My God will
hear me.” (NIV)

Living in hope means choosing a mindset that is confident of God’s promises — knowing He’ll ultimately set things right!

Spot Lights on our Blind Spots

Consider this idea adapted from Sarah Young:  Your thoughts matter — whatever occupies your mind the most, becomes your god.  Your worries, when indulged, develop into idols that create anxiety — infesting your mindset and robbing you of God’s peace.

If that resonates with you, then decide today that you’ll examine your misguided thoughts.  Stop trying to ‘fix it’. Choose to surrender. Instead, live in hope — anticipating that God will shine a spotlight on your blind spots and bring transformation.

Annika is 23 now and doing better than she has in years.  God has guided Mike and I one step at a time, and I’m no longer being robbed by my own misguided thoughts…

…I want that for you too!

QUESTION:  What do you need to stop trying to fix today and instead surrender and live in hope?


Are there worries that you’re facing that have severely impacted your wellbeing? Take time today and recommit them to Jesus because He cares. And know that God has also provided the gift of mental health professionals to help when needed. While we do our best to provide you with resources that will help you in your journey as a woman on mission, please note that no article we share on mental health can replace professional help. So If the darkness is overwhelming and you are in need of help, please reach out to a trusted professional counselor. And, know that we love you. Each and every one of you was made in the image of God, valuable and treasured by Him, so please hold on and never give up.