I had a great mother and a happy childhood, free of dysfunction and abuse—little realizing at the time how unusual that was. Today, most people I know struggle to overcome issues related to neglect, abuse, even abandonment from their family of origin. But there was one thing I knew, without a shadow of doubt, as I was going up: my parents loved me.
A funny thing happened when I was an adolescent, though. My mom changed, practically overnight, into a rule nazi. She implemented a curfew—even for prom night. Inconceivable! She refused to let me drive alone into Minneapolis for an event that lasted till almost midnight. What was wrong with her? And if my boyfriend came over, she insisted the bedroom door stay open. Did she think I couldn’t be trusted?
Using my own highly developed judgmental skills, I defied some of her rules … and got grounded for it. When she caught me.
A few times, I became so upset with my mom that I shouted, “I hate you!” and stormed down the hall to my room, slamming the door so hard the walls trembled.
Another funny thing happened when I had my first child. Again my mother made a major transformation. This time, she suddenly became amazingly wise, compassionate, and patient. Whenever I had a question or concern about what to do with my son, all I had to do was pick up the phone and call her. She always gave me good advice, calmed me down, and helped me work through the problem. And she repeatedly reminded me that “this too shall pass.” Especially when my kids seemed to hate me for the decisions I made that I believed were best for them.
I’m in my “empty nest” season now. Both of my boys have moved out of the house … twice … and now live in different states. I am extremely blessed to have healthy relationships with both of them.
And my mom? Well, she seems to have made yet another transition. She’s now my friend.
As I look back at the various transformations my mother made over the years—recognizing, of course, that I changed far more than she did—I realize what a tremendous impact she had on who I am today. Her encouragement as I was growing up gave me the confidence I have now to accomplish great things. The lessons she taught me, mostly through example, have made me the person I am now.
When I was sixteen, my mother made me get a summer job. I just wanted to hang out with my friends for three months. But she insisted. She even cut out an ad from the paper for a summer babysitting job and handed it to me, along with the phone receiver. To my dismay, the parents hired me. And over that summer, I discovered that Christianity was more than just going to church as a family on Easter and Christmas, and going to Sunday school with my sisters to learn about Noah’s ark and Jonah’s whale. On the last day of my babysitting job that summer, I accepted Christ as my Savior.
Thanks, Mom.
When my own kids were growing up, I dreaded my empty-nest season, wondering what on earth I’d find to do with my time. But the truth is, I’m busier now than ever. In the years since my kids moved out, I’ve become a published author and a professional freelance editor. (The opening to this blog is taken from my closing in 21 Days of Joy, book 4 in the Fiction Lover’s Devotional series I recently compiled and edited.) I’m also the founder and director of two organizations for Christian editors. I speak at writers’ conferences across the country six to eight times a year. I’m the director of a writers’ conference and an editors’ conference. I love my life because everything I do helps people achieve the dreams and goals God has in mind for them. I get to be a part of their journey, and that makes me super happy!
I would not be where I am today without the foundation my parents gave me. I might not even be a Christian if my mom hadn’t insisted I get that summer job.
I owe a huge debt of gratitude to my mother for everything she’s done for me. And though they may not know it, everyone I’ve assisted in my life can be grateful to her too. Because I wouldn’t have been able to help them if not for Mom.
If you are a successful businesswoman, a successful mother, or successful in any other aspect of your life, there’s probably something your mom did that laid the foundation for your success. This Mother’s Day, tell her—and show her—how much you appreciate her. And be specific about what you’re grateful for. If contact with your mom isn’t possible, do something in honor of her. Take time out of your busy schedule to look through old photo albums and recall cherished memories. Write Mom a thank-you note … even if there’s no way to send it to her.
And then think about how you can “pay it forward.” When you’re with your children and grandchildren, put all of your focus on them. Don’t try to split your attention between them and all the many things on your to-do list. If your own kids aren’t around, is there someone in your life you could be a “second mom” to? If so, make a concentrated effort to invest in his or her life. While that will take time away from your business, these are the things that will have lasting, even eternal results.
Did your mother make any “transitions” when you were growing up? What are some things she did in the past that you didn’t truly appreciate until years later?
WIN A FREE DEVOTIONAL
Win a copy of 21 Days of Joy: Stories that Celebrate Mom, book four in the Fiction Lover’s Devotional series, it honors mothers of all varieties. Biological moms. Adoptive moms. Stepmothers. Grandmothers. Godmothers. “Second moms.” Even men who “mother” children when circumstances put them in that position. Whether you are a mother, have one, or know one, these heartwarming fictional stories will touch your soul, warm your heart, and help you see that you are not alone.
Enter the giveaway by sharing your thoughts in a comment below. A winner will be announced in our next newsletter!
Enjoyed it? Share it!
Kathy Ide
Kathy Ide is the author of Proofreading Secrets of Best-Selling Authors, Capitalization Dictionary, and the editor/compiler of The Fiction Lover’s Devotional series. She’s a full-time freelance editor/writing mentor and teaches at writers’ conferences across the country. She is also the founder and director of the Christian Editor Connection and The Christian PEN.
But wait, there's more...
The best transition I witnessed was when my mom became a grandmother, she calmed down a whole lot
Now that I’m a grandmother (and godmother), I am SO MUCH calmer than when I was a mom! And it’s a whole lot more fun. I wish I’d been able to be calmer when my kids were young! 🙂
I really enjoyed this article, it made me realize the true transformations we go thru as mothers. Until now I never thought about our different roles we live as “transformations”. Great perspective. Thank you!
So glad you enjoyed the perspectives in this blog, Esther!
I really enjoyed this article, it made me realize the true transformations we go thru as mothers. Until now I never thought about our different roles we live as “transformations”. Great perspective. Thank you!
Kathy, thanks sharing your story! What I’ve now learned to appreciate was all of the “nagging” that I thought my mother was doing. It’s because of her persistence and guidance that I am who I am today. Mother’s are special and I’m thankful for mines. Happy Mother’s Day!
It’s great to be able to look back on the things in our childhood that we didn’t appreciate at the time and realize how they shaped us. I think that helps us, as adults, to better accept some of the things life throws at us, knowing God can use them to further mold us into the women He wants us to be.
Kathy, thanks sharing your story! What I’ve now learned to appreciate was all of the “nagging” that I thought my mother was doing. It’s because of her persistence and guidance that I am who I am today. Mother’s are special and I’m thankful for mines. Happy Mother’s Day!
It’s so crazy, how as we get older and also become mothers ourselves, that we look back and appreciate all the things our moms did for us. Those things that we didn’t understand at the time, we now are thankful for. Thank you for sharing, I know I am reminded of all those “things” that my mother did for me.
I so looked forward to the day when my son had a child so he’d understand my role as his mother better. Just a few weeks ago, he sent me a text saying, “Thank you SO MUCH for all the messes you cleaned up after me!!!!” I wondered for a moment, but soon learned the motivation behind that message. He’d just cleaned up after his own two-year-old!
Such a good read!! It is phenomenal all the roles a mother can have. I am forever blessed by a mother of wisdom and love and will always be turning to her for the advise I need.
Joy, I’m glad you have a mom you can turn to for solid advice.
Wonderful post. It hit so close to home and hits on many things I have already begun to realize at the young age of 32. Not a mom yet, but I feel brave and ready thanks to my own mom.
Nicole, it’s great that your mom prepared you to be a good mother!
Wonderful post. It hit so close to home and hits on many things I have already begun to realize at the young age of 32. Not a mom yet, but I feel brave and ready thanks to my own mom.
Wonderful words of wisdom and such a sweet reminder of the gift of mothers! I’m starting to realize the wisdom my own mother had all along as I’ve become a mother myself.
So glad you enjoyed my blog, Elizabeth. I get to see my parents over the next few days, as we’re playing tourists in Colorado Springs prior to my editor convention, PENCON. So looking forward to giving my mom lots of hugs!
Wonderful words of wisdom and such a sweet reminder of the gift of mothers! I’m starting to realize the wisdom my own mother had all along as I’ve become a mother myself.
[…] Motherhood is a journey like no other, filled with love, sacrifices, and countless joys. However, it’s also a path that can sometimes lead to unexpected challenges and self-discovery. In this blog post, we’ll explore the analogy of the Flamingo mother and how she loses her “pink” in the process of nurturing her young. Just like the Flamingo, human mothers too undergo transformations during their motherhood journey. […]