Dear One, I see you.
You may have fifty friends or you may have two. But despite the lies you’ve been told, current or past experiences, the photos that left you feeling less than or left out, you are not alone.
Every beating heart craves connection. Your desire for community is not cliche. It is not weakness or proof you lack independence. Please don’t be embarrassed by it. You were designed for community. Perfectly designed to live in relationship with others and the one who made you.
Don’t worry! You’re not late to the party. Yes, there’s a lot of talk about the table and gatherings these days, but community is an ancient practice. And no matter what the latest trends are, humanity will always gravitate towards community.
The truth is, you were created for this exact chapter in time. Your story matters deeply to this precise moment, and you are worthy to be part. You don’t have to wait to be invited. Let your longing lead to action and invite others in. Deep community does not happen by accident. The risk of being vulnerable has a high return on investment.
And another thing, your voice doesn’t have to be perfect to be powerful. Honestly, it’s usually the imperfect stories that bring people closest together.
There is an enemy who wants you to believe that authentic community isn’t meant for you. That it’s not real. Or perhaps you don’t really need it. Girl, don’t be afraid to shut those lies down, hard. You carry the likeness of the God of the universe and even He lives in community.
Whether you recently moved to a new city, started a new job, or entered a new season in life, finding good community can seem like an impossible task. But I have good news for you, friend. You have a Father who wants to partner with you. Begin by building community with him.
One of my favorite verses from Psalm 2:7-9, The Message version, reads, “You are my daughter, and today is your birthday. What do you want?”
Tell him what your heart longs for. Don’t hold back. Ask him for what you need with confidence, and don’t be discouraged if he’s quiet at first. Sometimes God meets us in the longing to build intimacy with him before it is fulfilled.
As you look to the new year, how can you take a risk to build deep community with those around you? We’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
Photography by: Levi Tijerina
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Bethany Fray
Bethany Fray is the founder of Flower & Fig. She is passionate about creating resources and environments that allow people to experience healing through beauty and truth. Her experience in design includes event, web, print and floral. Bethany lives in Colorado with her husband, Jordan, and their fur baby, Lucy.
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This is SO good. I love your approach on this topic and the photos are beautiful-very encouraging. Thank you!
Kirsten, I’m so glad it was an encouragement to you!
I’m going through this feeling right now. I got of the army almost four months ago after almost 11 years. I feel alone when alone when I’m not in church. I talk to my Father often and I listen to him. It’s when I look at a family or a couple that I have the longing for more.
I grew up an “army brat,” as they say, and have found that there is nothing quite like military community. It was hard for me to leave it behind when I was used to constantly being around people who were also looking for new friends. Know that you are not alone in it! Praying for you in this season, Kendra, that God would send you a rich community, in both family and friends.
Thank you Bethany you touched me me so much. Merry Christmas may our Father bless you and protect you and you family.
Love love love this! Such an important topic. You’ve capture and stirred up some deeps thoughts. Thank you for writing this, so heartfelt.
So glad it spoke to you, Sophia!
How incredibly beautiful, and empowering, particularly in this painfully divisive times that the nation faces. But in every nation, there are wounds to heal. In every heart, there’s the will to do it. And together there is the power to achieve it. It is not more bigness that should be our goal. Our goal should be bringing people back to the warmth of community, to the worth of individual effort, responsibility and connection… It’s only in the power of us as individuals working together as a community, can we create better lives, for all of us and our children’s future.
Such true words, friend. Thank you for ministering to my own heart today!
Wow! This article was so moving and very true. I am going through a very rough time with my marriage right now. We have been married for a year and half now. My husband has been unemployed for five months (living currently in Pittsburgh) and has been having a really tough time finding a job here. He suggested moving to my hometown (Cincinnati) to look for jobs while living with my parents. It didn’t take me long to find my dream job there but husband still hasn’t received any news from any company he has applied to there. My husband was very happy but also jealous of me. I believed that moving to Cincinnati would be great because I am still very connected with my church and it would be a good start for us to make new friends and be with family. I am thirsting for community here and it has been a struggle and I believe that this move can really benefit the both of us spiritually, emotionally, financially, mentally and physically. I love my husband so very much and he knows I would do anything for him. Why is he fighting me on not moving to Cincinnati now when I know our lives grow stronger?