If I’ve learned anything in the last 5 years, it’s that everyone needs a mentor. No person on earth is truly self-made, and I’m no exception. Mentorship offered the push I needed to rise up in my business, my marriage, and my life. The reality is, I’ve always been passionate about mentorship (I even wrote a book about it, What They Taught Me: Recognizing The Mentors Who Will Take You From Dream To Done), but it was when I started my business, became a wife, and stepped into the life I wanted to live, that my eyes were truly opened to see the valuable role mentors play in shaping our futures.
Over the years, I’ve leaned on the shoulders of strong women who took me under their wings and taught me how to make the jump from dreamer to doer, how to walk in wholeness embracing who I am, and how to thrive in every season of life. Their expert wisdom, guidance, and helpful hands are what helped me find my voice, pursue my dreams, navigate married life, build a 6-figure business, overcome obstacles, grow in my character, release my first book, and so much more.
I’ve experienced the lasting effects of how one person’s belief in you can be the extra push you need to do incredible work. I wouldn’t be the woman I am today without the women who invested in me and ultimately changed my life. And I want to share a few tips to help you experience the same fruit from mentorship that I have.
Fact: You Need A Mentor
Mentorship isn’t just meant for church small groups, or lunch-and-learns while climbing the corporate ladder. It can be a powerful tool that can propel you forward in any season of life. We all need relationships that will come alongside us, pour into us, and propel us toward our full potential.
While you can certainly choose to go through life alone, I’m here to tell you there can be tremendous fruit from inviting a guiding voice to join you along the way. Time and time again, it has helped me shortcut the distance to success. And by success, I mean success on your own terms – whether that’s developing a sustainable business, building a thriving marriage, or creating a life you love – or all of the above!
A mentor who you look up to and who has gone before you is a game-changer. They serve as a catalyst, propelling you forward, helping you establish the correct path toward success. When chasing an audacious dream, it can be easy to lose focus or become overwhelmed by the inevitable challenges you face along the way. Often, a mentor can help provide perspective and advice to help you overcome obstacles and avoid big mistakes that have the potential to yield even bigger consequences. Trust me, having someone you trust that can help you avoid mistakes and see what you can’t is the way to go. Mentorship offers the source of encouragement you need to keep your relentless pursuit alive, even when you lose sight of your dream.
Mentors also provide the crucial element of accountability. They help keep you on track and when you begin to stray, they help provide course-correction to stay on the path to your goals. They are the ones who will encourage you to continue walking in the life you say you want, because, like you, they are committed to your dream.
And of course, mentors will be your biggest cheerleaders. They are the ones who will lift you up, celebrate the small stuff (and of course the big stuff too) and champion you every step of the way.
You might be asking yourself, where The Heck Do I Find A Mentor?
Finding the right mentor, who can provide the guidance and support you need to create the success you desire, starts with getting involved in a community that has shared values.
This community could be a local church, a book club, a mom’s meetup, a young entrepreneurs association, a running club, etc. There are plenty of ways to meet people with shared values, so pick the one most important to you in this current season and start there. Aside from determining where you might meet a mentor, also think through what type of mentoring relationship you are looking for. Is it mentorship on your parenting journey? If so, look for the seasoned mamma in your runners’ club. Is it a mentor for your faith walk? A church small group might be the right place to start!
In today’s world (especially in the wake of COVID) meeting others in person may feel inaccessible. Online communities are a great alternative for meeting others with shared values. The online space offers communities for everything from faith, to hobbies, to business and beyond.
BUT…Time For Some Real Talk
Let’s get real here, finding a mentor can be like the very worst part of dating. Meeting new people feels uncomfortable and being vulnerable is even more unsettling. It feels awkward putting yourself out there and taking a risk. And, worst of all, there’s the fear of rejection.
Trust me, I totally get it…
The truth is, none of us can reap the rewards of human connection without putting ourselves out there, meeting other people, and making an effort to cultivate transparency.
Yes, there will be some duds, and there may be some “no’s,” along the way. Not everyone will be the perfect match for you, not everyone will align with your dream, and that’s okay. In the quest for building human connection, there will certainly be missed connections along the way. But I encourage you to keep at it.
I promise, when you find your match in a mentor, the investment you receive is going to be worth the risk of putting yourself out there.
Regardless of how you define success, inviting someone in, who can provide wisdom, help you navigate specific facets of life, and encourage you to reach your highest potential, allows you to cultivate a greater sense of fullness and freedom in the many hats you, as a woman, wear.
I encourage you to take the risk, join a group, and ask the women in your life for support and advice. As you do, I know you’ll begin to witness the value and experience the beauty that mentorship provides.
- What have you found helpful in looking for mentors in your life? Let’s share our best practices with each other!
- What is one way that you can put yourself out there and find a mentor?
Share your answers with us in the comments below to be entered to win a copy of What They Taught Me: Recognizing The Mentors Who Will Take You From Dream To Done by Kelsey Chapman. The winner will be announced in our newsletter next week. Don’t get our newsletter? Sign up here!
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Kelsey Chapman
Kelsey Chapman is a BIG believer in the power of women championing one another. She attributes where she is today to the impact of her own incredible mentors, who took her under their wing and taught her how to build a life of freedom, fullness, and joy. Today, Kelsey has put on the mentor hat herself and encourages hundreds of women through her Radiant community, podcast, and book What They Taught Me - because she believes we can go further TOGETHER.
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I was just talking to a friend about how my church needs a mentoring group. I have had a mentor who walked alongside me, encouraged me and helped me start a prayer group in our church. I would like to help start a mentoring group too. Thank you for bringing this to us!
This article spoke volumes of encouragement and hope to me. In my daily walk, it is my deepest desire to connect women with God and with one another. That deep seated passion comes from the fruit of those who poured into me as I was growing up and even into my early adult years. The importance of mentoring doesn’t end with chronological attainment — even those of us who bring alongside and minister to others must also be replenished. I appreciate Kelsey’s embracing devotion towards those coming up behind her. There aren’t enough mentors in the world to do the work the Body of Christ is called to do.
Looking for a mentor can be like looking for a needle in a haystack. However, I’ve found that the best and most productive way is to let things evolve organically by actively listening to those you come in contact with.. a lot of times it doesn’t have to be intentional..What you have in common and those who have been down the road you are currently traveling helps come to this understanding. One way to do this is to not be afraid of communicating your story with others and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. It takes courage but in the end it is well worth it.
Great advice! Don’t be afraid to share your story. I needed to hear that.
I have been praying and talking to God about community. At this season in my life I feel that I have none. So ,I will take the author’s advice and maybe join a small group online in the hopes that I will find a mentor and community because alone we can do a lot but together we can do so much more. There were times and seasons in my life where I had mentors and they were such a blessing and I had someone to hold me accountable and help me push and make progress when I wanted to give up. So ,I pray that I can find community and a mentor.
I know when finding a mentor the best thing is honesty and excitement. Just letting yourself be when looking for a mentor and not letting the fear of rejection keep someone from contiously searching and we being joyous about mentorship and his ir her dream. In order to open myself for a mentor, I can go to dance classes. But if I’m just starting my dran back up again, Doug think I should ask the person I am thinking of to be my mentor because O havent shown much drive, so shouldn’t I build momentum first? Ir should I just feel scared and ask?
This was awesome and right on time. I just took a virtual class on life coaching at a church. That was me taking intentional action to walk on the direction God was drawing me to. I want to take all I have learned and earned and pour it into others in various ways. In that process I discovered I too need mentorship. That class sparked the desire, this article gave me the gems I needed to obtain it. When our cups are so filled that we spill over into the lives of others we stand in the perfect balance of empowerment. I am so thankful for this confirmation and the sign that further points me in the direction of my destination. I can’t wait to see what’s next!
Wow, this was so on time! I’ve literally been praying for God to show me how/where to find a mentor in this season of life so thankful for your tips. I absolutely need to join a small group in my area with all different generations and ethnicities. Also, an obedience step that God has given me is to “be what I need” as in, be a solid mentor for a young woman and then see Him move in showing me who I should ask to be a mentor for myself. I think this is a beautiful journey and I’m excited to find a mentor soon!
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I agree that we all need a mentor in life. Without my mentors, I wouldn’t have gotten to where I am now. I am eternally grateful for all the guidance they have given me to strive to become the best I can be in my passion ? Reaching out to find one is important.
As a mother for one of three, the youngest, Autism, Oppositional defiance disorder, echolalia, speech fruit and vegetable palatability, digestive tract disorders, PTSD. I have my hands Full my hair and I are disabled to.
We are currently going through a journey with SSA regarding our son’s disabling conditions.
I find that having a Truly Great Friend, like family to us, has been Godly Blessing’s for years.
Having a sister in Jesus name, to walk through the many journals we’ve endured, house fire, etc.
This support of Rising Up to what God expects of me, is liken to the Potter and the Clay, I’m being reshaped each day.
The daily journey is a step by step process. Sometimes a breath by breath process.
“We walk the mile twain”.
When I cannot get in touch with my sister, coach, best friend, I hang on to the Holy Bible scriptures and recite scriptures.
Our Family’s journeys are anew daily, it is how we, I approach the journey.
No more, “Flight or Fight”.
No more being so scared that I cannot function or think clearly to function.
God expects me to do my part, while Casting All my cares upon the Lord because He careth for me/us. Continuing in constant prayer and supplication making my prayer request known.
We as Women of Faith, must always be the Peacemaker and leader at times to bring our spouses, family members, neighbors known and unknown to the Cross, Church. We are the messengers and always give God the Glory, Praise, Thanksgiving in advance, in Jesus mighty precious name and Jesus is worthy to be Praised Always.
Ask it shall be given
Seek ye shall find
Knock the door shall open
With God All things are Possible
Matthew 19:26
The Sermon on the Mount is one of the passages I read. ISAIAH, God holds my right hand, gives me strength for everything.
Very interesting subject. Mentorship is something that’s really close to me and is also part of my life and work. I thank God that He gave me mentors to help me and guide me through my life. I can identify with this sentence, that “I didn’t knew I needed a mentor, until I saw the results of having one in my life”. It’s not always easy, especially when you get corrected and being vulnerable and sometimes fear of rejection comes in the scene etc. but when you know and understand the heart of your mentor, a good mentor, always does things for your good. And with God all things works out for our good. So I’m really grateful and that’s why I now also mentor youngsters and building more mentors. To read this book, will also be a kind of mentorship for me, to receive more knowledge about this topic. We will never grow old or wise enough to receive mentorship.
This message was right on time. God does want us to do life alone. We aren’t meant to connect with others in the various areas of our lives.
Personally, I have had experienced difficulties with connecting to other like minded women who will support and help each other to grow in our giftings without judgement.
It is something I will continue to pray for.
Love this topic, for someone that was “born” in church, the idea of looking for a mentor is somehow scary for me. I am used to being my own mentor (rolling my eyes) and now I’m just comfortable at not having someone whom I can share my ups and downs with. But God is so merciful and beautiful that He is teaching me and even used this giveaway to remind me the importance of relationship. I truly believe churches have to follow the Titus 2 command about the older woman teaching the younger woman. I pray that God gives us the desire of communion and that He moves us to either look for that mentor or be that mentor.
Oh my! This is a God-sent article just come to me so timely! My husband and I were just talking about how much we need mentor(s) in our life!
I’m an entrepreneur full of dreams, with a passion to inspire and empower people to be and live out their true selves the way God has created them. I have recently become a mom of a newborn. I started to embrace my calling as a mother, but really hope to balance out with my entrepreneurial endeavors and bring our family to a stronger, sustainable place. The qualities of a Proverb 31 woman is what I aspire to be.
I do hope that God will match me with a mentor who is also a believer, mom, entrepreneur, and ideally a coach too!
I look forward to get inspired by your book! Thank you for sharing your experience and insights with us! As well as the G&V community has to offer! 🙂
Great piece on finding and expectations of the search for the right mentor. I have found mentors from my discipleship training school and my Christian inner healing school so sometimes taking a class could lead you to your mentor. And word of mouth for sure, let your friends (the ones you truly trust) know so they can be on the look out.
Great article and great comments. Thank all of you ladies. This is so timely for me as well. I recently completed an online life coaching class given at a church. I did so because I decided to take action in the direction I feel God is drawing me to. I want to intentionally take all I have learned and earned and pour it into women in various ways. In that process I discovered how real my own need and desire for mentorship was. When we are being filled in order to overflow into the lives of others we stand in the perfect balance of empowerment. That class created a desire and openess, for mentorship. This article has given me insight on how to obtain it. I am so thankful for the confirmation this provided as well as an additional sign further pointing me in the direction of my destination. I can’t wait to see what’s next??
Thank you for this read!
I think if we are already questioning about mentors whether that be “Where can I find one?”, or “How can I mentor?”, we are already being mentored by Him the Most High. Our hearts are open for more and for more than just ourselves. God knows we don’t know all the answers and we need the collective skills of the community. God knows we weren’t meant to stifle the knowledge he has given us hence why we feel we want to share good news ( like blessings that have happened for us). This read of yours left me with thoughts of remembering His Promises and to grab hold of moments to stop and not be so busy. Naturally we see the key to successful people in our community is by working constantly, always busy. But there is success in the rest too because that also requires discipline. If we can become disciplined in the rest and then the busyness we can demonstrate the right formula for true mentorship.
This has been on my heart and reading this article was such an encouragement to find a mentor and be available to be a mentor to someone. Thank you.
But God…can bring courageous moments even at such a time as this ( in the wake of covid-19).
We need to be very mindful of lifetime mentorship in the church and beyond the walls they hold.
I applaud the old school technique with a new school vibe. This is how you bridge the gap being consistent is one thing to wearing a golden smile I guarantee (someone needs) to see.
Examples of courtesy, kindness, and grace never goes out of style. Part of the fruits of the spirit.
We must tell the young to remain dignified inspite of difficulties and circumstances one faces.
You will reach one and teach one to be healthy adding r-e-s-p-e-c-t with their own faith, family and most of all themselves.
The Holy Trinity is indeed the truth.
” His way ” and the life. There’s a message in the book of Titus that declares and decree sound teaching.
So isn’t it safe to be hopeful & blessed to be a blessing! Following the Beatitudes of Jesus might I add.
Unfortunately even if you are considered not as fortunate as the world’s looking glass, Be of good cheer… We can still live with Joy amen.
Jesus teaches about ☮️ peace, love and mercy.
He rewards the pure in heart.
I am always uplifted after reading your encouragement and invitation into a life of Grit and Virtue! Mentor ship is something a very much value as well. I have been blessed by amazing mentors who landed in my life because the were my bosses! I learned quickly that the best people to help me grow are those that are not exactly like me but willing to challenge me, listen and answer questions I have about all topics in life. By Being transparent, our relationships moved from employer/ employee to mentor/mentored!
I have been saying I want to be mentored but haven’t found anyone who truly wants to walk life with me. I have amazing older women who love and care for me and who have been there but to say I have one woman who just mentors me and walks with me I don’t have. Praying I can be that for someone one day
It’s always wonderful to have a mentor ❤
I have typically not liked the expectations linked with the word mentorship (both directions of the relationship). I have been actively involved in the lives of many in an organic way, even intentionally for others who I knew needed the time and attention, but when people asked for mentorship formally, I have typically been reticent (the pressure and expectation…). And mind you, I am a strong believer in the necessity and impact of mentorship . I can see how it has affected my officially asking for mentorship, choosing to rather emulate and learn from those I ‘admired’ from the side. What has recently changed things are 2 words concepts: living in truth and the notion of bringing something forth. That language has changed my orientation to mentorship for me—my desire for both led me to seek out a specific mentor in my journey (been an excellent 8m so far). Being willing to be and see truth about who i am and can be and opening up to someone to help me bring forth what is inside is the general idea.
I’ve enjoyed the benefits of finding mentors to help me along the journey of developing and creating a social justice non-profit. I went to school to be a sports reporter and here I am leading an organization with the skills God ha given me but at times felt less than adequate to lead because I knew others who had been organizers and advocates with much more experience than me with years of experience. God brought Black women alongside me who were willing to support me through this journey. Now I’m longing for one in my spiritual life, that has been difficult to land the plane on this desire.
I am so thankful for all the mentors in my life! The one that’s the most precious to me is my Book Club – it’s a constant give and take.
One thing that I have found helpful in seeking a mentor is asking for help. Through this process I am able to learn if they are willing to be honest and transparent with me and also to see if they have the time and willingness to be a mentor in the area of life I am seeking. This takes vulnerability from both parties whivh helps to build on a foundation of trust.
I’ve been thinking about finding a mentor for a while, and this was just the push I needed!
For most of my life, I tried to go it alone. I tried to commit suicide twice my Junior year of high school but God (my two favorite words!) showed up as I was drowning in hopelessness and saved me. Over the many years since then, He has constantly brought women into my life who have helped me grow emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
When I made a career change after 25 years in one industry, I found myself floundering. I reached out to two leaders I had served under for guidance and support. Both of them are vital to my professional growth.
I applied to my employer’s formal mentoring program last year and I got accepted. My mentor and I did not know each other when we started but over the last four months, we have both benefitted from our partnership.
I could go on but suffice it to say, we all need people along our life’s journey to assist and challenge us so that we can become all that God created us to be.
I completed a life coach certification last year and still have yet to find a true mentor I vibe with! Thank you for bringing this topic to light—because we cannot do life alone. I need someone who will challenge me and push me to become the best version of myself, for sure!
My mentor was placed in my life by God but I had to receive the gift and be transparent. Mentors aren’t perfect so don’t expect there won’t hurts or misunderstandings along the road. My mentor is like family and with any family or real relationship there will be conflict. Part of growing is growing alongside your mentor. I think eventually that’s what a healthy dynamic grows in to.
I enjoyed reading this article! I value mentorship and I’ve really only known it through academia but it is important in all aspects of life !
I enjoyed reading this article! I value mentorship and I’ve really only known it through academia but it is important in all aspects of life !