Editor’s note: We realize that the reality of COVID-19 may directly impact your ability to practice in-person hospitality. We encourage you to please use wisdom and caution as you consider how to best interact with your family, friends and neighbors, but we still feel this is a helpful message to share.
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This time of year, stores are typically filled with parents and their children participating in the annual tradition of “back to school” shopping. As I have found over the years, fads and styles come and go, and often mysteriously repeat themselves every generation. Yes, I’m referring to the high waisted pants I wore in the early 90’s now making a strong comeback! Only now they are called mom jeans, which I definitely take as a compliment.
It seems that what is in style one season usually has a challenging time surviving into the next season. And style change is not limited to clothing. Whether in the world of fashion, technology or fitness trends, things are always moving and changing. However, the one thing that never goes out of style is our need for connection. Our desire for community runs deep because God created us to be in relationship with others.
We are wired in a unique way to love others, and this uniqueness is what shapes each of our hospitality personalities. Your hospitality personality is the style in which you prefer to socialize and the ways of hosting that feel the most comfortable and natural to you. Which one looks like your hospitality personality?
Leader: decisive, assertive, confident, focused, strong-willed
You like to be in charge, and you feel confident with calling the shots – not in a bossy sort of a way but in a “let’s get things done” sort of way. People regularly look to you to grab the reins and get things started. You enjoy hosting and are extremely good at delegating and leading the charge. You lead gatherings well, and hospitality is something you do almost seamlessly.
Entertainer: optimistic, spontaneous, inspirational, expressive, motivational
You are the life of the party. You love spending time socializing with others. You are not hyper-focused about the details, but you are definitely the one people count on for the laughter and jokes. You love telling stories and talking to new people. Social settings are typically very energizing to you. People want you at their parties because you bring the fun!
Includer: diplomatic, accepting, welcoming, inclusive, nurturing
You appreciate all things centered on the table and find beauty in connection. You love creating a cozy atmosphere and making people feel loved and cared for. From pillows, to candles, to providing slippers for your guests, you love curating a warm and welcoming environment. You are determined to make people a priority and your loved ones know with certainty that they are a priority to you.
Organizer: practical, detailed, consistent, thorough, responsible
You are a detailed host and planning all the things is your jam. You generally enjoy your hosting time more when you’ve done as much as you can beforehand. You automatically know what needs to be done and/or you make sure there is a structured plan in place. People look to you to take care of the specifics.
On the hosting continuum, there is reluctant, ready, and everywhere in between. Reluctant hosting means you tend to feel hesitant when extending an invite or hosting a gathering. Whereas, ready hosting means you tend to feel energized and motivated when planning to host or coordinate social activities. Wherever you fall on the hosting continuum, whether you gravitate more towards one end of the spectrum as a reluctant host or the other end as a ready host, or find yourself somewhere smack dab in the middle – you have a hospitality personality, and it impacts how you approach hosting.
Identifying your hospitality personality will help you to better understand your strengths and weaknesses within how you share hospitality. When you recognize your natural tendencies, it can help encourage you to be a more comfortable and confident host. And likewise, when you are aware of the areas that come less naturally to you, you may want to consider leaning on someone else’s hospitality personality.
Hospitality is a gift, an act of love, and an opportunity to bless others. It is telling others you want to spend time with them and you desire a relationship. Whatever style of hospitality you choose to extend, choose to play to the strengths of your hospitality personality. When you use the gifts God has given you, you will be a blessing to others. Hospitality, connection and community are always in style!
“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
Mark 12:30-31 (NIV)
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Love a good GIVEAWAY?
Share your answers to one or both of the questions below with us in the comments and be entered to win a copy of Your Hospitality Personality by Morgan Tyree. The winner will be announced in our newsletter next week. Don’t get our newsletter? Sign up here!
- What type of hospitality personality are you?
- As you consider your hospitality personality type, what is one action step you can take to better prepare the next time you have the opportunity to practice hospitality?
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Morgan Tyree
Morgan is a professional organizer (chaos calmer), writer (list lover), and exercise enthusiast (fitness fan), keep up with her on her site, Morganize with Me. Her mission is to share tried and true techniques that she hopes will encourage her readers and clients as they focus on their health and homes. Check out her Book, Take Back Your Time, join one of her Organizing Challenges, listen to her Podcast, and be sure to check out her Shop full of fabulous organizing printables!
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I definitely see myself as an includer. I love to host for others and have them feel at home. The organization side is not my strong suite so I definitely feel like that’s something I could learn to be better at. Overall though I think hospitality is a beautiful gift to have. So often Jesus was in the homes of others. I feel like it’s a beautiful place to share Christs love.
I love that you are an Includer and want to use your home to show his love!
I definitely am a leader, but I’m learning to be more flexible and spontaneous when it comes to hospitality. I’m also very organized, so I resonate with that type as well. I love planning and details! Hospitality is something that is very important to me. I love caring for people and showing them the type of love that Jesus shows us. One step I can take is to continue sending someone I care about a card in the mail. Hospitality may look different now because of the pandemic, but that doesn’t mean we can’t share God’s love with others (in new and different ways!).
Melissa I couldn’t agree more! This is the perfect time to be creative with extending hospitality.
I’m more of an ‘organiser’ with some touch of an ‘includer’.
The entertaining part is a huge challenge for me cos I’m more of a serious minded person and my jokes are usually sarcastic and not everyone likes it. Whenever I become very loud in a gathering I feel like I’m not being real. Second part to it is my voice is naturally low and people have a hard time hearing me when I speak in a crowded place.
I guess I’ll just stick to the one I find more natural and get some friends to fill in the rest?
But I most say, hosting is my thing once the resources to handle it are there?
Yes! Find friends to come alongside you when hosting, this is a great way to let everyone play to their strengths.
I’m definitely the ‘leader’ and ‘organiser’. But I want to learn to be more present in the events and not always trying to make sure everything is okay as I think it is in being present I can have good conversations and show love by paying attention to others.
I’m definitely an Organizer and Leader. I love hosting, it seems natural to me, and I love to plan the details as much as possible beforehand so I can enjoy the gathering. One thing I can do better, next time I have the opportunity to host, is to delegate more and not take on the entire burden of setting up.
Lovely article. I’m definitely the leader type. A fabulous emcee and not afraid to delegate as needed.
I would say prayer would help me prepare for the next opportunity. To be in prayer that God would incline my heart to those He would have me host and to be of service to them as He would have me be.
I love it Michele! Will you help me host my next party (when we can safely do so)? 🙂
Organizer!
Inclusive organizer and leader . But at the heart of my leading and organizing is including…I love to love on people.
I am not sure I need to win this book though. It may just break my poor socially distancing wreaked heart.
Maybe it’s time to host something, responsibly.
Leading with the intention of creating a sacred space for nourishment is my mission — so I am a Leader with undercurrents of an Includer/Nurturer.
Peppered within my life are wild Alaskan landscapes, physical movement (sweat devotion), and a sacredness for all living things. I have a deep love for cooking simple, nourishing meals and setting the table for thought-provoking conversations.
I believe intimate settings provide the space for us to rest, recharge, and remember who we are.
My prayer for the world is that we return to this simpler way of living, ditch technology form time to time, and re-connect with the nature of wilderness within ourselves and one other.
I think I am more of an organizer, but also have traits of a leader. I think it depends if I am hosting an event for myself (home bible study or small group) or an event for others (a special dinner for an organization). I think to better prepare for the next one, I need to remember my strengths and stick to that and let other people focus on their area of strength. I need to learn to let things go when they aren’t perfect and let other help when and where they can. 🙂
I can identify with characteristics from each of the different types but ‘includer’ describes me best. Whether at a social gathering, company function, or in my own home, I want everyone to be comfortable and feel like they belong.
Prioritizing my time to prepare is an area where I could improve -being intentional and setting aside time to prepare instead of trying to get it all done at once.
I find myself between an organizer and an included depending on the crew I am hosting! Definitely get wrapped up in the details if it’s a bigger group.
I tend to be an entertainer (even though I am actually an introvert and that’s NEVER my goal), but I am most certainly an includer. I curate my guest list to specifically be people who I feel like should be able to “gel” well together because I never want anyone to feel like the odd person out. I’ve been that person a few times before, and I would never want anyone at an event that I’m hosting to experience that uncomfortable feeling.
I am a leader, an includer and an organizer. I love to be hospitality home for others. I organize diffrent events where I host hospitality for others to feel loved and also valued.
Me mission is to be a better hospitality host who give love, confort and value to others.
This is so great because the Lord spoke to me about hospitality home for others and now He is giving me more tools how to practis it. I love it❤️
What type of hospitality personality are you?
I tend to lean into the organiser and includer roles
As you consider your hospitality personality type, what is one action step you can take to better prepare the next time you have the opportunity to practice hospitality?
I need to rely on my friends a bit more and delegate. I want people to feel comfortable and included but I have a hard time delegating when I’m organising because people can’t catch onto the vision I have for a party or a gathering. It’s exhausting to have organised everything and then try to make sure everyone is included so sometimes I miss out on moments because I haven’t delegated a task to someone else
Liana, you sound just like me! I love that you are recognizing how God has hardwired you and how you can press into others to lighten the load.
I am a Organizer/Includer and my spiritual gift is definitely hospitality. I really need to focus on my timing and delegating more. I really enjoy your newsletters and look forward to the next one. Thank you for allowing me to participate in the giveaway. Have a blessed day, prayers lifted up ??❤️
I’m an Organizer, 300%. But pretty reluctant. I am so good with details, and I know how to get things done and done well. But I’m very introverted, so I struggle with being able to fully relax when I’m hosting and not focus on the details I can control. The next time I have the chance to host, I can lean into delegating and remind myself that the fun is for me to have too!
I love that you are 300% an Organizer! And yes to delegating more. It helps so much!
Our homes are a beautiful place to share Christ’s love! Love that you are an Includer. 🙂
Love this!
I’m a leader probably due to my experience as an operations manager with an event planning company! However I’d like to work on being more of an included and making sure people leave my gatherings feeling full – both hearts and bellies!
I would definitely be an Includer, so next time I’ll pay some more attention to making the space cozy! I’ll also invite some of my Entertainer friends to include others more with the energy and activities everyone can be a part of. Being more introverted myself, I tend toward the ‘reluctant’ end of the spectrum, but I’m energized as it starts happening.
I find myself sharing multiple disciplines when it comes to my hospitality personality. Mostly, I am an organizer when it comes to this, but I also am an includer. Im learning to not fuss so much over every detail because most of the time the people you invite into your home mainly just want to be in your company and they tend to not care so much about the little things. Im learning that no matter what condition your home is in, or whether or not you serve them food on the finest china, the true act of hospitality exemplifies the love of Christ and is selfless and not prideful in pining over what you think would make you feel more accepted but yet loving your neighbor as you love yourself.
I’m definitely an organizer. I picked that up from my mom who hosted parties frequently as I was growing up. She always made sure there were enough food and drink and had a plan to refill if necessary. I’d like to be better at actually entertaining: talking to guests and making sure they have a good time, not just enough food.
I’m on the leader scale with a side of includer. I desire the need for connection and facilitating spiritual growth at the same time and love having people in my home. Those two types can sometimes contrast when leading my “mom group,” with wanting keep the study focused, but also making sure everyone is happy and comfortable. I can’t wait to host pizza night again with no agenda and just friends around the table.
I’m more of a leader and organizer, but honestly hospitality has been stretching for me to say the least. I grew up in a home where people were not wanted or allowed to come over so it’s been an adjustment for me to unlearn that behavior/mindset. I’ve always a deep desire since I was a little girl to have my friends over and live life with others in my own home, but it wasn’t the safest space to begin with..now that I have my own home and my hubby & I have created it into a beautiful safe space, my lil girl is excited for a second chance to explore hospitality.